Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Kisses for Kittens kicks some Beantown ass; Boston jerks ejected from Ray's before things got nasty

Normally Ray's Happy Birthday Bar is about the most mellow place you can be, a live-and-let-live neighborhood joint in a very diverse neighborhood. Normally.

Last night a group of 7 loud Bostonians in town for some conference (?) or other was pissing off the rest of the bar long before I arrived, apparently loudly making fun of patrons and having dumb conversation at incredible volume. Eventually I asked if they wanted to join the quiz, thinking it'd be nice to have the extra folks and that it might quiet them a bit (since I'd have to put up with their noise too), or at least stem the tide of jokes I hadn't heard since fourth grade ("moth balls", anyone?). I know the Subject round last night was "Stooges," but I didn't expect people to take that as a behavioral cue.

The game started off fine, we broke them into two (loud) teams and only one of the turds appeared to be using his phone internet connection to cheat, although very poorly. It's sad when you have internet access and you still get things wrong, serially. The douchebags repeatedly took cracks at the regular bar patrons, me and my website. The jerk-off closest to me announced that he was bored.

Finally, after the third round, it became evident to me with the second fling that I was having the answer sheet thrown at me by the human pile of shit who was "bored", that he wasn't accidentally dropping it as I initially credited him. At this point I lost it a bit, and threatened to, if I
recall correctly, do some people bodily harm if they didn't leave. The bored douchebag closest to me became particualrly sheepish, and led the march to the door. Thanks to bartender Paul E. and a couple of other patrons for making it clear that if anyone had any ideas about trouble, there'd be a few less Brahmins around the Beantown Thanksgiving table later this year.

One of the people stayed behind and finished the game, rather sheepishly and politely. He was a bit older and claimed not to know the others very well. Last we heard the other six were talking about heading to Old City, which seems appropriate enough. We can only hope they mouthed off to the wrong bouncer, or maybe some hopped up Jersey dance club rat with a concealed firearm.

The one sad part of this is that Kisses for Kittens would've rolled these douches in the quiz had they stayed for the whole thing, and I would've enjoyed seeing that.

Note to bar managers and bartenders: sometimes business gets better when you toss a few people. Ray's has the right idea; if you can't behave at a minimally functional level, you're gone.

Repeatedly the visiting crap piles said that they were behaving like this because they were from Boston, as if that's a real city or something, and South Philly residents should fear them. Really now, Boston? Let me know when you hit the Top 20 mark in population and we'll start to talk about your racist little inbred New England hamlet being a "city." A good general rule is that you don't go to a place with an extra population digit from a place missing one and start talking like you're the cool urban environment people. Even the band named after the place sucks.

Beautiful Gold: Kisses for Kittens 139
So-So Silver: Edward James Almost 72
Shameful, Shameful Bronze: Moose Knuckle 50


Bostonian tools who were told to leave

At right, please to enjoy your bartender Paul E., who went 7 for 7 on my Three Stooges questions,
doing his Curly impersonation. (The other three Qs that round were on the band The Stooges, who are not from Boston and do not suck.)
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