Bush booed in DC; baseball season begins right

And this was a crowd who could afford the tix. Imagine a cross-section of DC residents...

The count, incidentally, is 1-0; that was way high.

King Shit of Fuck Mountain takes the throne at Lyon's Den, rendering this blog blocked by local school districts

It's great to see the Sunday night quiz finally take off! I have to say that the Lyon's Den just got even cooler with the addition of free Atari 2600 play (with a seriously large box of games to choose from) on a widescreen TV. That rocks. You now have no excuse for missing the Sunday quiz! All of your entertainment needs are met...

King Shit finally got it together, winning at Lyon's Den by 21. Congrats! KSoFM had another teammate who I missed because I was super slow in getting the camera out. Now you have to win Tuesday night to get everyone in the photo...

Beautiful Gold: King Shit of Fuck Mountain 121
So-So Silver: It's My Democratic Party and I'll Cry If I Want To 100
Shameful, Shameful Bronze: Team Token 96

Also-rans:

Half Alligator-Shark, Half Man 78
Elf Fire 70
Hil's a Pill 67
Bar Fruit Flies 46

Solutions to last week's Secret Theme rounds

Dirty Frank's:

The theme was seasons of Survivor.

1) From what country is pro golfer Vijay Singh? Fiji / Fiji
2) What obscure nation has the capital Palikir? (Federated States of) Micronesia / Micronesia
3) What basketball shoe was first made in Massachusetts in 1917? Converse All-Stars / Survivor All-Stars
4) What restaurant chain was founded in 1988 in Tampa, FL and now has more than 900 locations in over 20 countries? Outback Steakhouse / Outback
5) What rock band did former Soundgarden drummer Matt Cameron join in 1998? Pearl Jam / Pearl Islands
6) Who was born in December 1969 with the name Joan Marie Laurer? Chyna / China
7) What internet businessman was the Time Person of the Year 1999? Jeff Bezos / Amazon
8) Who released the influential hip hop single "Planet Rock" in 1982? Afrika Bambaataa and the Soulsonic Force / Africa


9) Cuenca, Ecuador is the world center for making what item that you can wear? Panama hats / Panama
10) Who is the Sex Pistols' drummer? Paul Cook / Cook Islands


Drinker's Tavern:

The theme was King of the Hill.

1) What 1987 Vietnam War movie stars Dylan McDermott and Don Cheadle? Hamburger Hill / Hill family
2) What 20th century First Lady was born Claudia Alta Taylor? Lady Bird Johnson / Ladybird
3) What CBS sit-com ran 1998-2007, focusing on the Heffernan family? King of Queens / King of the Hill
4) Who was a member of New Edition until releasing his hit solo album King of Stage in 1987? Bobby Brown / Bobby Hill
5) What vocal group, inducted into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame in 1990, had a Top Ten hit with "Only You" in 1955? The Platters / Luanne Platter

6) What Estonian-born famed architect lived in Philadelphia for much of his life? The park at 11th & Pine Sts. is named after him. Louis I. Kahn / Kahn Souphanousinphone
7) What former Reagan and (elder) Bush speechwriter is now a Wall Street Journal columnist? Peggy Noonan / Peggy Hill
8) What college bowl game has been played annually in Dallas since 1937? Cotton Bowl / Cotton Hill
9) Who is the actor on The Simpsons who voices Apu, Moe and Chief Wiggum? Hank Azaria / Hank Hill
10) In NASCAR, who drives the #88 Mountain Dew car? Dale Earnhardt Jr. / Dale Gribble

"If it's too loud, you're too old!"

... so ran the '70s Kiss slogan.

How weird is this? After the Wednesday night quiz, your bouncer Captain informed me that a neighbor across the street from Frank's came over to complain to him that I was, quote-unquote, "asking questions too loud" (!) and keeping them up.

Is this the first noise complaint in quizzo history? Forever the complaint there has been that I needed to be louder. I'm using a little Gorilla practice guitar amp, granted louder than the old one, but come on people...

It goes up to 10 (not 11), I have it no higher than 6, beyond which point because I have to be in front of the darn thing at Frank's I would get horrible feedback. Usually 5 is plenty loud, but Frank's was crowded this week so I went all 6 on your eardrums.

Who lives across the street, a family of bats? The Six Million Dollar Man? We should charge you for getting a free quiz and not buying beer, ya cheapskate! In general I would suggest that light sleepers not live at that intersection to begin with, especially if you need to go beddie-bye before 11.

Regardless I find this hilarious, and am proud to be in the same category as The Who, Slade and Disaster Area. The photo is my own, taken in Guatemala last year.

Next week is baseball week at all quizzes!

Just to clarify, we'll be ringing in baseball season with baseball Subject rounds all week. Only the Ray's Happy Birthday Bar quiz will be six rounds of ball questions, the other quizzes will have a baseball Subject round but the five others will be random distribution of topic.

Baseball-related popular culture trivia will be mixed in with the standard sport-oriented questions. No two quizzes will be the same.

Sunday, March 30, 9pm
Lyon's Den
2nd & Christian Sts.
Subject Round: BASEBALL

Monday, March 31, 9pm (Phils' Opening Day)
Ray's Happy Birthday Bar
1200 E. Passyunk Ave.
(near 9th & Federal Sts.)
Subject Round: SIX ROUNDS OF BASEBALL

Tuesday, April 1, 9pm
Drinker's Tavern
Market St. between Front & 2nd Sts.
Subject Round: BASEBALL, AND NO THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL'S SET-UP

Wednesday, April 2, 9pm
Dirty Frank's 13th & Pine Sts.
Subject Round: BALLET... NO, WAIT, I MEANT "BASEBALL"

Supergroup Gofa Wingdom blows away field at Frank's, misses all-time top score by 3 points

Supergroup Gofa Wingdom (pictured above), a nearly unbeatable combination of Sofa Kingdom and Group W, won easily at Frank's on Wednesday night. My former Frank's (when I was a participant) and Johnny Goodimes quiz team MAGMA will be going up against these guys at Goodtimes' Quizzo Bowl IV this weekend. Wish us luck, sheesh...

The team nailed all 10 Secret Theme questions plus the theme, then went 8 for 10 in the Unreasonably Difficult round. That's just absurd.

I found my little quiz notebook at Frank's, so to update this post...

Beautiful Gold: Gofa Wingdom 186
So-So Silver: I'm Afroyd of Americans 118
Shameful, Shameful Bronze: Kenya 100

Also-rans:

Dons Quizzote 92
Reluctant Castratos 78
Balzy 77
Robin Williams' Ex-Wives 50
Fine Sexy Bitches 22
We Suck!!!* 21

* team quit

So, who are those people in the photo, and was the ax Photoshopped in? No, that's Tinariwen, the world's best Tuareg guitar band...

This week's sample Secret Theme rounds

Each group of 10 otherwise unrelated tough questions has a theme running through its answers. Can you answer the questions and figure out the themes? Answers will be posted early next week.

Dirty Frank's:

1) From what country is pro golfer Vijay Singh?
2) What obscure nation has the capital Palikir?
3) What basketball shoe was first made in Massachusetts in 1917?
4) What restaurant chain was founded in 1988 in Tampa, FL and now has more than 900 locations in over 20 countries?
5) What rock band did former Soundgarden drummer Matt Cameron join in 1998?
6) Who was born in December 1969 with the name Joan Marie Laurer?
7) What internet businessman was the Time Person of the Year 1999?
8) Who released the influential hip hop single "Planet Rock" in 1982?
9) Cuenca, Ecuador is the world center for making what item that you can wear?
10) Who is the Sex Pistols' drummer?

... and what theme links the ten answers?

Drinker's Tavern:

1) What 1987 Vietnam War movie stars Dylan McDermott and Don Cheadle?
2) What 20th century First Lady was born Claudia Alta Taylor?
3) What CBS sit-com ran 1998-2007, focusing on the Heffernan family?
4) Who was a member of New Edition until releasing his hit solo album King of Stage in 1987?
5) What vocal group, inducted into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame in 1990, had a Top Ten hit with "Only You" in 1955?
6) What Estonian-born famed architect lived in Philadelphia for much of his life? The park at 11th & Pine Sts. is named after him.
7) What former Reagan and (elder) Bush speechwriter is now a Wall Street Journal columnist?
8) What college bowl game has been played annually in Dallas since 1937?
9) Who is the actor on The Simpsons who voices Apu, Moe and Chief Wiggum?
10) In NASCAR, who drives the #88 Mountain Dew car?

... and what theme links the ten answers?

Edward James Almost finally wins at Ray's

Thus ends the "almost."

Beautiful Gold: Edward James Almost 112
So-So Silver: Barf-Lies 98
Shameful, Shameful Bronze: The Losers 89

Also-rans:

Mike & Him 71

Life imitates Caddyshack

Handing out an explosive propane device to grounds crews - what could possibly go wrong?

Tiger wins the inaugural Drinker's Tavern quiz; cumulative points tallying for the Big Prize begins

Northern Virginians Tiger squeaked out a win in the first official Drinker's Tavern quiz. I was supposed to be posting a photo of them holding a sign that read FUCK U A.B., as A.B. is their boss, and they do not like their boss. Not one little bit. For some reason that photo did not register on my camera. There's no audio here, but trust me, these guys are telling A.B. what he can go do.

Turn-out was good, the crowd was fun and I have to say that Drinker's gave me a lot of prizes to give out. Lots of people went home with a shirt, a decent hat (none of this trucker/mesh nonsense) or various other trinkets, and I gave away a CD on top of that.

What's going to happen from now on is that I'll list the weekly winner (top prize every week is a $25 gift card to Drinker's) followed by a running total of cumulative points until the Big Prize is distributed, which is to say the new limited edition Pabst Blue Ribbon bike plus other cool stuff I'll figure out later. I know you guys; I'm a trivia geek too. I know what you crave. The team with the most cumulative points will be awarded the first Big Prize the Tuesday of the last week of April, including totals from that contest. I've been informed of the next Big Prize lined up after that, and, trust me, it's pretty damn cool.


Beautiful Gold: Tiger 135
So-So Silver: The Docs 133
Shameful, Shameful Bronze: The Bulldogs* 105

Also-rans:

King Shit of Fuck Mountain 102
www.IHateKoopman.com 81
Gimmie a Tully 39
Ramrod* 13

* team started late or quit

This is going to look a bit stupid/obvious, but just to get people accustomed to the cumulative thing...

Cumulative Drinker's Points for the Next Big Prize - April 29, 2008

Tiger 135
The Docs 133
The Bulldogs 105
King Shit of Fuck Mountain 102
www.IHateKoopman.com 81
Gimmie a Tully 39
Ramrod 13

Note that Tiger's a couple of out of towners, thus will be unlikely to play again and that leaves things more open for other teams to step in. At the moment The Docs have the inside track.

Hillary Clinton lies about Tuzla

Hillary Clinton and I seem to have spent some time in the same locations in Eastern Europe. When I was working for the OSCE via the US State Department in Bosnia as an election monitor in the late '90s, I was more or less stationed in Tuzla for the bulk of our training and debriefing. She and I seem to have different recollections of the place.

I don't recall anything about having to wear a helmet or run from snipers - in fact several other monitors and I rented an orange VW mini-bus and driver named Mustafa to take us to Sarajevo via the so-called "Snipers' Alley" route (isn't that a line from "Convoy"..?). Everyone made it out just fine.

There was a very real worry about landmines, one that persists to this day, and we received landmine awareness training from the Swedish Army. I don't think anyone was about to walk the Clintons over to a minefield, or even on any grass or mud at all, so I rather doubt she was in much danger on that front either. Your other worries in Bosnia are the rampant drunk drivers, in conjunction with the guardrail-less hill curves. Traffic fatalities appear to be rather high, and car carcasses pile up two and three deep on hillside curves.

Outside of the Republika Srpska, which Tuzla is, SFOR had pretty tight control over the place. I recall my area was under the aforementioned Swedish military control, with some American troops in the area and UN police around too. There was also a pro-NATO Bosnian military with a base right in the city, a base that I got pulled into at gunpoint because I took a photo of it, which was dumb (a story for another time.)

Tuzla is a nice little European town, and I enjoyed my time there. People seemed sick of war and wanted to return to normal life, including the relatively high economic standards Yugoslavia enjoyed apart from most of communist Europe. There was slaughter there, I saw bullet holes and shell wounds on the buildings and landscape everywhere. I frequently passed the spot where, in May 1995, 71 mostly young people were killed and over 150 injured when an ethnic Serb militia's shell slammed into the marketplace. But that was long before Clinton and I were there, and she knows it. Continued use of other peoples' tragedies like that sickens me.

When we were there, Mrs. Clinton, Tuzla was a great place to enjoy a cold liter of Tuzlanski Pilsner and some frites at that restuarant staffed by prisoners, the one with the Persian name. We didn't have to wear helmets or dodge bullets. Shame on you.

More shame on you for shrilly insisting that NATO kill and terrorize Serb civilians on the other side of that conflict. This includes the use of cluster bombs which might kill people who haven't even been born yet for decades to come. You are clearly unfit for the office of president (not that I didn't know that already, Part 1 Part 2 Part 3). I have a feeling that if you were to land in Beograd, you'd need that helmet.

I also happened to have briefly worked in Estonia shortly after HRC was dispatched there for a photo-op to divert attention from whatever she was embroiled in at home at the time. It so happens I met the premier Estonian-English interpreter on Earth, and she had been Clinton's translator for about four days. Her opinion? HRC was a "bitch" and, she thought, a lesbian, although the second part was hinted at incompletely in ways that leave me skeptical. On the whole Eastern Europe is gay-unfriendly and I imagine that people see gay where they like, which is to say in people they dislike. When pressed - and this came up in conversation twice - she said "Trust me, she's a lesbian."

How unfortunate for lesbians if true; the vast majority I meet are always so nice...

Answers to last week's sample Secret Theme rounds

Ray's Happy Birthday Bar:

The theme was US states.

1) What classic rock band released the album Leftoverture in 1976? It went platinum four times over. Kansas
2) What did the US buy for $23,213,568 in 1803? Louisiana Purchase
3) What ship exploded and sank in Havana's harbor in 1898? U.S.S. Maine
4) Chicago's Magnificent Mile is on what thoroughfare? Michigan Avenue
5) The San Francisco 49ers retired the number 16; whose was it? Joe Montana's
6) What musical features the songs "Oh What a Beautiful Mornin'" and "Pore Jud Is Daid"? Oklahoma!
7) Who played Tom Cruise's daughter in the 2006 remake of War of the Worlds? Dakota Fanning
8) What 1988 movie starred Gene Hackman and Willem Dafoe as FBI agents? Mississippi Burning
9) Who wrote the book-length essay "A Room of One's Own", published in 1929? Virginia Woolf
10) Upon what body of water will you find Cincinnati, Ohio and Louisville, Kentucky? Ohio River


Dirty Frank's:

The theme was state nicknames.

1) What 1989 movie took place at Truvy's Beauty Parlor? Steel Magnolias (Mississippi)
2) What 1948 movie featured Humphrey Bogart as a character identified only as Dobbs? Treasure of the Sierra Madre (Montana)
3) What team did the Winnipeg Jets become in 1996? Phoenix Coyotes (South Dakota)
4) What element has atomic number 47 and the symbol Ag? Silver (Nevada)
5) In the 1984 movie Red Dawn, what is the name of the resistance group formed by Colorado teenagers? Wolverines (Michigan)
6) What do the letters CBGB stand for (as in the legendary Manhattan music venue)? Country Blue Grass Blues (Kentucky)
7) What 1975 movie featured George Burns and Walter Matthau as reuniting vaudevillians? The Sunshine Boys (Florida)
8) What 1994 movie tells the story of characters Mickey & Mallory Knox? Natural Born Killers (Arkansas)
9) About what music act is the 2006 documentary Shut Up and Sing? Dixie Chicks (Alabama)
10) What's the three-word motto of the French Republic? Liberty, Equality, Fraternity (Wyoming)

Open baseball season with some baseball questions!

With the Phillies' home opener on March 31, I will be opening baseball season with 6 rounds of baseball questions that night at Ray's Happy Birthday Bar, a decidedly diamond-mad institution. I will also have baseball-related give aways and such like.

The Subject round (only) for the other 3 quizzes that week will also be Baseball, and all different rounds so that you may play multiple games if you like. Huzzah, it is so declared!

Lil' Roy Rogers Hornsby wins First Anniversary extravaganza at Frank's, sets new all-time high score record in huge turn-out

Lil' Roy was impressive to put it mildly, winning in record fashion. It was great to see some new teams and some returning faces from last week. For the record, Tortured Fetuses earned the new Speed round extra point, so the 189 is most legit for posterity.

This game featured a few twists, including a 4-point round which had a chain of interconnected answers instead of a subject. That was just special for this anniversary contest, don't expect to see that again soon. The Speed round was self-referential, and I tried a "Stump the Quizmaster" 6-pointer at the end of the final round which was a bit awkward/slow in the verification department and therefore unlikely to be repeated.

I was happy to see the Marnie & Cara team win something after last week's debut debacle; if they become regulars I predict some wins. In the Schadenfreude department for you voyeuristic pervs, Group W has not won four weeks running now.

Beautiful Gold: Lil' Roy Rogers Hornsby 189
So-So Silver: Group W 176
Shameful, Shameful Bronze: Marnie & Cara & David &... 162

Also-rans:

Human Crapital Management 132
Kenya 116
Reportable Diseases 105
The Outtatowners 95
Don Quizzote 89
Tortured Fetuses 78
Monk* 52

* team started late and quit

Kisses for Kittens have a two-week win streak at Ray's Happy Birthday Bar

The night of the game changed, but not the result. "Break up Kisses for Kittens!" Who out there will challenge them?

This week:

Beautiful Gold: Kisses for Kittens 111
So-So Silver: Kathleen Turner Overdrive 102
Shameful, Shameful Bronze: Edward James Almost 76


Last week:

Beautiful Gold: Kisses for Kittens 106
So-So Silver: Eeyore & the Grovestand Mushrooms 93
Shameful, Shameful Bronze: Edward James Almost 71

Also-rans:

Galactic Computers 62

Dons Quizzote finally win at Frank's!

Well done, guys! Because the Subject round was "THE LAW" we had three teams composed either of lawyers or law students, and in this case the established, bar-certified lawyer won. Let that be a lesson to the youngin's. Group W had a surprising fourth-place finish, and have not won in three weeks. That's also likely the first time that 10 points was the difference between first and fifth place.

Beautiful Gold: Dons Quizzote 148
So-So Silver: Roys Don't Cry 143
Shameful, Shameful Bronze: Cuts Dat Flo 141

Also-rans:

Group W 140
Kenya 138
B 89
Marnie & Cara 58

Big Jesus Erection wins at Lyon's Den

The one-man team Big Jesus Erection just keeps wandering into Lyon's Den by himself and winning a hefty $25 gift certificate, which is nice work for a Sunday evening. Someone out there should really stop by Sundays and similarly take advantage of the bar's relatively light competition and generous certificates. This Sunday is Easter and I'm off, but next week is ripe for the pickin'...

Beautiful Gold: Big Jesus Erection 118
So-So Silver: Kathleen Turner Overdrive 107
Shameful, Shameful Bronze: Fuck You Yankee Blue Jeans 94

Also-rans:

Jit Baguettes 88
The Jitbags 54
Courtney Love* 16

* team quit

Next week's quiz schedule

Sunday, March 23
Lyon's Den 2nd & Christian Sts.
EASTER SUNDAY, NO QUIZ!

Monday, March 24, 9pm
Ray's Happy Birthday Bar
1200 E. Passyunk Ave.
(near 9th & Federal Sts.)
Subject Round: BLINDING YOU WITH SCIENCE ("SCIENCE!")

Tuesday, March 25, 9pm
Drinker's Tavern
Market St. between Front & 2nd Sts.
Subject Round: MOVIES

Wednesday, March 26, 9pm
Dirty Frank's 13th & Pine Sts.
Subject Round: GEOGRAPHY