Friday, January 25, 2008

Pearls of Wisdom prove beyond any reasonable doubt that they are the smartestest employees at Hamilton Jewelers

There are a few scientifically acceptable ways for the modern manager to compare the intelligence and world-awareness of employees. Most of the better methods were banned in the most recent round of Geneva Conventions and would bring Amnesty International down on you pretty hard, but among those remaining I'd say that hiring me to run a quiz at your event is as accurate as it gets. Note that even team names can tell management a lot about what you're working with in terms of human clay. The team that inappropriately named themselves Winners for example are clearly "incompetent and unaware", whereas Basement Dwellers, painfully aware of their limitations, are humbly fit for trainable rote tasks, and apparently amenable to them. Work assignments are so much easier to distribute post-quiz!Pearls of Wisdom (pictured) edged out Best Directors - thus necessitating a management coup in this quizmaster's opinion - for the win at the annual Hamilton holiday bash, held in the posh surroundings of the Jasna Polana golf club in Princeton, New Jersey. Jasna Polana (means "bright meadow" in Polish) was the former Johnson & Johnson heir's estate, renamed by Barbara Piasecka Johnson (means "Anna Nicole Smith" in Polish).

Hopefully Hamilton's staff had as pleasant a time as I did. Anyone who wants to bring me over to their organization for a little intramural trivia smackdown can do so easily by using the contact info at right.

The teams were huge by bar standards, roughly ten people in each. Your scores:

Beautiful Gold: Pearls of Wisdom 133
So-So Silver: Best Directors 129
Shameful, Shameful Bronze:
L'ville Rockers 124


Winners 114
We Be Cool 104
Table of Ten 95
B*****s 90
Red Hot Red Bank Babes and Rick 89
Team Awesome 82
Barking Spiders 79
Name: Team 54
Basement Dwellers 53

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