His kryptonite? 4/4 time and bland food

All hail Bollywood Superman! Arch-enemy? Pakistan!

Self-actualize yourself to quiz success this week

Tuesday, January 20, 9pm
Drinker's Tavern
Market St., between Front & 2nd Sts.
Subject Round: DESSERTS
Fourth week in tournament cycle, the Big Prize is a Philadelphia Eagles tailgating beanbag toss game.

Wednesday, January 21, 7:30pm
12 Steps Down
9th & Christian Sts.
Subject Round: INSECTS

Wednesday, January 21, 10 pm
Ray's Happy Birthday Bar
1200 E. Passyunk Ave.
(near 9th & Federal Sts.)
Subject Round: FAMOUS TRIOS
Note the time change; we're now deliberately making this "the late quiz" as that seems to work better for some odd reason.

The Draught Horse shuts down for Winter Break at Temple, and we'll be back to normal quizzing beginning January 29.

Center City newbie fandom can be a source of some irritation

That's a photo from the Phils' parade. I have a few better ones that I might post together at some point in the future.

Allow me to rant about a source of some irritation for a bit. I'm pretty much a two-sport guy, what you call in your slippery English tongue of the baseball and of the football americano. As a native of this city and a localist/loyalist, this translated at a very young age to being fated with a Phillies/Eagles loyalty, one that certainly tests one's patience at times. (I'm something of a fraud in the other two sports and perk up largely out of city loyalty only when someone's in the playoffs.)

In the mid-'90s I moved into Center City and its adjacent neighborhoods as most Philadelphia residents who manage to buck the odds and get a college education do. That means that my friend and co-worker base shifted largely to people in the 10% of the city's population near the big buildings - that percentage of the city's population who get almost all of city government's attentions and almost all of the press coverage. That population of largely transient (a trend slowing as it becomes cool to live in the city again) college-educated folks are now most of the people you find at a Center City-ish sports bar or a party when the Phils or (more likely) Eagles are making a playoff run.

And frankly I find some of this intercoastal bandwagon jumping irritating and at times even a little creepy. By all means, cheer, that's cool, but it's when people get (or pretend to get) emotional about things... and I know you just got here... weird!

I mean, in the 1970s (and '90s) I had running arguments with Cowboys fans at school, always having the lack of a ring thrown in my face. I once trashed and discarded a Roger Staubach card fresh out of the pack in front of another kid just to piss him off (fan wise, financially foolish). I remember Wilbert Montgomery's NFC Championship Game TD run, and I was watching every game I could (once upon a time they held World Series games during school days) of the '80, '83 and '93 series. I was at a lot of home losses at the Vet to the stinkin' Expos and Padres. Every year, somehow, it was Expos and Padres tix.



I was at the New Year's Eve playoff win against Tampa that started the whole Eagles post-season kinda-sorta-successful run, I was miserable, cold and downhearted at the last game at the Vet, suddenly realizing how cold I was as the clock ticked away the season and the stadium. I was at the 4th-and-26 game, and from our angle you couldn't tell the first down was made for a good minute or so. You get the idea. Some of you have been around longer than me.

So these days I see people from Idatucky who moved to the city (or more usually to the domed city-within-a-city that is CC and its environs) less than the gestation period of a large mammal ago all decked out in Phils or Birds gear and I just think "What the dick?!" It gets especially creepy when the word "we" comes out. "What do you mean, we, paleface?", I think to myself...

"We ended the drought!" Eh? You've been here less time than the length of the Zapruder film, what drought... what we? I was 12 when the Sixers won last and was disappointed one hundred consecutive seasons since then. That, my friends, is a drought.

That's this many seasons:

XXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX

And then the Phils won:

P

But, yeah, those past 14 months of recent, semi-interested fandom have been tough on you.

I've watched - literally watched - Brian Dawkins play about 200 games. One gets some attachment to a player over that period, and it's a little bizarre when you see the Dawkins jerseys on recent arrivals. I am reminded of that scene in Gangs of New York when the Irish dads are separated out at the immigrant intake area and handed a Union Army uniform.

It just rings hollow to me and it's all so... icky. I wonder, watching the Recent Philadelphia Sports Enthusiast, "OK, so did you just transfer your allegiance to Philadelphia teams from another... er, metro area (probably not "city" per se 'cause you're white)... on a dime, or did you just not care about pro sports until 15 minutes ago?" Either way, remind me not to trust you should the Soviets or Nazis take over. Creepy. I mean, when the robot-zombie-monkey-slaves revolt, I shoot you first and worry about them down the line. At least I know where the robot-zombie-monkey-slaves stand on the issue of my well-being as a free human. I don't need a second front to open up during the Unspeakable Revolt of 2023.

I couldn't imagine moving to San Diego (picked randomly) for a job and becoming a Chargers fan in two months. Wouldn't people in San Diego think I was, at best, kinda fickle? And most likely a nursing students-as-victims ax murder cannibal..? No..?

I'd be an Eagles/Phils fan who happens to live in San Diego. (Oddly enough, this scenario still has me watching the stinkin' Padres live when the Phils come to town!) And if you're from San Diego and you remain a Chargers fan while here, I respect that. It probably means you don't kick kittens and do rewind VHS tapes before returning them.

This is part of how I know Hil Clinton is a cold blooded harpy, that whole fraud of this (supposed lifelong) Cubs fan claiming she was Yankees fan all along when the people of New York were instructed that she would "represent" their state after a life spent in DC, Illinois and Arkansas. You can't trust that. Decent people have a squad and stick with it.

Some of the opinions and conversation out of the new arrival, narrative-lacking Philadelphia fan just come off as forced and patronizing. And I just wonder how much is self-aware show for the benefit of others and how much is actual, new, context-free interest. Worse: I can't decide which option creeps me out more. It's like showing up at a new school the first week in a Twisted Sister shirt when everyone else has Ramones gear, and then showing up the second week in a Ramones shirt. You are so still sitting alone at the lunch table it's not even funny.

You just wanted to grab some people at the Phils celebration during the parade by the lapels and yell "Our joys are inequal!"

So for the first time in months, I'm posting a poll at right. What do you think? Let's establish an Anthony Gargano-style Sports Rule here.

The full text of most options ends with "the gear & using 'we'".

The annual Best Writing Ever just published

For the second consecutive year I beseech you to read The Buffalo Beast's 50 Most Loathsome People in America. This is the most spot-on, most intelligent and funniest thing written annually by anyone anywhere in America. If The Onion were smarter and you mated that with an Al Franken whose brilliant invective didn't suddenly turn to mush when discussing Democrats who do the same things Republicans do... if Bill Hicks were still alive and was limited to one print-only rant a year... this perfection would result.

This gets so many hits this time of year you might have to reload several times, try during an off hour or try the Google cache once that's available.

Belated global quiz shout-outs

Every now and again I get email from folks who stumble across the site and say hello from their corner of the quiz world. I've been generally behind on keeping up with link reciprocity, but here goes...

QuizzoDetroit added me to their links section for wandering Michiganders looking for some out of town action. Much obliged. Obviously if you find yourself there and are looking for a quiz, this is where to find it.

I have a thrift store-bought mug I keep pens in that reads "Detroit, n. - a city in SE Michigan where the weak are killed and eaten." Not making that up.

Mikki V. in Houston, Texas wrote in to say that she hosts a trivia game at Big John's Sports Bar on Wednesday's at 6:30. No quiz-specific link. She sent me some sample questions - quite tough, and mostly non-sports! Given the size of Houston I'm sure if you're visiting that the bar wouldn't be more than 2-3 days' journey on foot from your hotel.

Brandon in Norfolk, VA wrote in months ago to thank me for the trivia, apparently he works in radio down there. So you guys have radio and internet now? You go, Norther Carolina!

Paul from the U.K. sent along a link to his quiz blog, Nik Nak's Old Peculiar Blog. How British sounding is that? It makes you want to knife a magistrate, it does.

Hey guys, let's go see Ma-... aw, screw it...

This unhelpful movie review spotted (pun intended) in... L.A.? Thanks to Liz R. and Rob A. for the photo, and to Kathy B. for pointing out the words "LOS ANGELES" in above the poster in big block letters that I inexplicably missed.

The confusing bit is that the same friend who forwarded this to me reported seeing the same phenomenon here.

Wee Small Cakes triumph in biggest turnout yet at 12 Steps Down

Slowly but surely this has become a great quiz, with multiple great competitors. Thanks to all of the participants. These guys had a French citizen on their team but still managed to win.

Scores:

Beautiful Gold: Wee Single Cakes 147
So-So Silver: Awesome Super Incredible Sexy Cool 138
Shameful, Shameful Bronze: Amanita 130

Also-rans:

Cosine of Four 125
Hermaphrodite Babies 124
Max Foner & Busty St. Clair 119
Sofa King Good* 80
Team Denmark 2009 74

* team missed two rounds

Keep an eye on this week's quizzes

Tuesday, January 13, 9pm
Drinker's Tavern
Market St., between Front & 2nd Sts.
Subject Round: VOCALISTS
Third week in tournament cycle, the Big Prize is a Philadelphia Eagles tailgating beanbag toss game.

Wednesday, January 14, 7:30pm
12 Steps Down
9th & Christian Sts.
Subject Round: 2009 YEAR IN REVIEW

Wednesday, January 14, 10 pm
Ray's Happy Birthday Bar
1200 E. Passyunk Ave.
(near 9th & Federal Sts.)
Subject Round: COMEDY FILMS
Note the time change; we're now deliberately making this "the late quiz" as that seems to work better for some odd reason.

The Draught Horse shuts down for Winter Break at Temple, and we'll be back to normal quizzing beginning January 29.

Start 2009 the unquestionably cool way... with a quiz

Tuesday, January 6, 9pm
Drinker's Tavern
Market St., between Front & 2nd Sts.
Subject Round: MONSTERS
Second week in tournament cycle, not sure what the Big Prize is yet.

Wednesday, January 7, 7:30pm
12 Steps Down
9th & Christian Sts.
Subject Round: 2008 YEAR IN REVIEW

Wednesday, January 7, 9:30pm
Ray's Happy Birthday Bar
1200 E. Passyunk Ave. (near 9th & Federal Sts.)
Subject Round: POVERTY

Centocor finally coughs up a check

Friday afternoon I was FedExed a soaking wet envelope (accepted as damaged at the driver's suggestion) with my darn check. I let it dry overnight, scraped it off of the inside of the envelope on Saturday and was fortunately able to deposit it.

What does this tell us? My invoice was acceptable/accepted all along. I never did need to fill out a W-9. And the 20 or so hours I spent wrestling with Centocor's obstructionist staff, opaque phone reception set-up and all other aspects of their bureaucracy in order to honor our agreement were a total waste of my time. "Hey, thanks, Centocor!"

Seasons Greetings indeed to the folks in Hopewell, New Jersey who've been Googling my full name and their company's name. Good use of our time, no? Also a hearty Wassail to the Centocor folks who have taken some time out of their busy trashing-each-other schedule on Cafepharma to pop by.

This is for you:


A person shouldn't have to pitch a fit and resort to public shaming campaign to get paid. I was talking with a friend of mine who's run her own business for years, and she said that from time to time she has to turn into a full-time collections agent in order to get contracts paid. Her "favorite" incident was spending two years to get a $2000 check. Two years. Apparently at the end of the struggle someone at the company said "We didn't know you were still interested in the money." What's wrong with people these days?

End of year quiz schedule

Tuesday's quiz at Drinker's will be the last quiz of 2008. Thanks for a fantastic year! I'm away for the week and will resume a largely normal schedule the first week of January.

One exception: The Draught Horse is closed for Winter Break until mid-January, and there's a Temple basketball home game (which leads to huge, rowdy crowds) on the 22nd. Therefore the Thursday quizzes resume as usual on the 29th.

Tuesday, December 23, 9pm
Drinker's Tavern
Market St., between Front & 2nd Sts.
Subject Round: 2008 Events in Review
Second week of six-week tournament cycle.

Centocor = holiday deadbeats

Centocor, a dysfunctional division of Johnson & Johnson (the fuckers who sued the American Red Cross for using a red cross, beyond all parody), are stiffing me on payment after I did a holiday party quiz for them two weeks ago.

UPDATES:

After or instead of reading this, read the resolution.

1) The claim now is that I should be getting a check on Friday, December 19 via FedEx. Let's see if it happens. Note that this means that I never needed to submit another invoice nor fill out a W-9, and any claims to the contrary have been obstructionist. I could have had a check cut all along a couple of weeks ago, and people chose not to do so.

2) Apparently this post has been picked up on the Cafepharma message boards, and at least one employee in Hopewell, New Jersey has been Googling my name to find this. My message to the company: now that I FINALLY have your attention, where's my check?

3) Looking into things, no W-9 would be required of me because the amount is under $600. This is a totally spurious claim.

4) I removed the link to PA code as it referenced wages and not contracts. Centocor is actually in violation of contract law.

I took a photo of the winning team and was planning to post that and scores here. Now that just ain't gonna happen. And why, you ask, if you're a Centocor employee visiting the blog, looking for a photo? Because your company friggin' stiffed me.

We had a verbal and written agreement that I would receive a check in hand for the quiz at the event I did for them at a restaurant. No check at event. There was a silly claim that because they couldn't print my Word doc invoice the way they'd like, my invoice was "not valid" and therefore, somehow, I didn't merit a check for work already completed. Incidentally, the claim at the time - I was told I was not getting a check while doing the program, in between rounds, by the by - was that people enjoyed the event itself. We're just dicking me around at this point because they're a corporation, and I'm one guy, and I suppose they figure might makes right. Well, these people are trying to fuck the wrong guy.

I told my public relations contact there last week that my next step if no check were forthcoming was to go public and go negative. This is Portion A of that process. Portion B is getting the word out via other, more popular websites. I don't think that should be difficult. This public shaming will continue until I get my check. If you're reading this and love to pile it on wrongdoing corporations, please feel free to send this link out and post links to it. The more the merrier.

Centocor wanted me, in the week after I should have deposited their check, to reproduce an invoice, in a different format using software I have repeatedly told them I don't have, in order to get paid. I have had over 40 email and phone exchanges with a variety of employees, most rude, a couple helpful (including one who literally laughed at how unjust her own company was being, stating "none of this should be [my] problem"), to try and get my lousy, piddling 3-figure check. I have now done far more work trying to get paid than I did in order to present the program.

Last Friday, after five aggravating days of fighting phone trees and in-company bureaucracy, I was told via an email from human resources that I should get a check in the mail on or about December 17. Today my public relations contact at the company told me on the phone in a call he initiated that that is not what is happening. The latest excuse that I "can't" get paid is that they now want me to fill out a W-9 form, a brand new demand that as late as this past Friday was not being made, and had not been brought up from when I was contacted to do the quiz months ago until today.

I always love the use of the word "can't" in an organization when someone chooses to do the wrong thing. See also Nuremburg defense. And note also the result of its use.

I know they can pay me; they choose to use company rules they select as they go along for not doing so.

No one contracting me to do a program - not even the law firms I've done quizzes for - has demanded this before, for the simple reason that I am not an employee of any sort of Centocor, or of any other quiz host. I am not really even a normal contractor or sub-contractor, I did a one-off program and we agreed on payment arrangements, based in doing the work and in an invoice they accepted from me weeks ago, on two separate occasions now (the second after Centocor unilaterally violated the first). Usually an organization pays me out of petty cash or the like; this is the party budget here, I'm not an accounting temp or the like.

I've made it very clear that Pennsylvania law states that I'm owed this money, and no amount of post-quiz mid-level-management office petty tyrant jiggerypokery un-makes their debt to me. I just want my damn money. The next step is I sue in Small Claims Court, with damages and costs, and win.

Centocor, one may learn through the information superduperhighway, is a bunch of morally challenged mother-stabbers and father-rapers. The public should avoid doing business with them and avoid their products. To wit:

- Apparently Centocor's anti-arthritis medication Remicade jacks up your chances of fatal cancer, "significant blood abnormalities ", and can even lead to latent TB kicking your immune system's ass. (In fairness to the company, the joint pain melts away in the cold grasp of death.)

- There is an unfortunately underutilized blog called CentocorGossip that people locating this post who may work for the Unholy Machine may use to bring it down from the inside. Please do so. The lone post on there thus far contains the ever-popular combination of medical malpractice, unlawful firings and the magic words "strip club." Ha! I love you, Internet, and your internal dirt cornucopia!

- Even better is the bitter harvest of employee rants in the Cafepharma anonymous Centocor employee message boards. Juicy! Hopefully this post leads more employees right to it, where the internal workings of pissed off workers can do to the management of Centocor what Remicade does to you. Thrill to employee accusations of fraud and illegal mismanagement! Meet such lovely Centocor employees as "Patty Patty Puke Puke," the "Virginia Beach Nazi!" Find out which pharm sales rep is a "middle-aged hag" whose "husband doesn't love her anymore!" Learn which department is "useless!"

These are the people making your medicine - what could possibly go wrong?

This is post #1 of the Centocor posts in my attempt to get paid, which will be updated. I'm sure vast amounts of dirt on Centocor can be dug up easily, and this is what will be happening on this blog until the damn check clears. In the long run, it would have been much easier to cut me a check.

Pay me, Centocor! And pay me fast! Justice delayed is justice denied.

Please give generously to Lyon's Den soup kitchen fundraiser

Easiest just to retype the flier:

LYON'S DEN SOUP KITCHEN FUNDRAISER
2nd & Christian Sts.
Wednesday, December 17th, 8pm - ?

Philadelphia soup kitchens are very low on supplies this holiday season.

Please bring anything you can spare such as food donations, clothes, diapers, computer products or cash donations. Anything you can do to help will be greatly appreciated.

$1 OF EVERY DRAFT BEER PURCHASED WILL BE DONATED TO PHILADELPHIA SOUP KITCHENS.

Special performances by: Brownske, Dr. Thunder and Cicco Peppino"

I have to say it's nice to be associated with a bar that does this sort of thing. The employees are doing this of their own volition, everything from organization to entertainment. Good people. Incidentally, when football season ends I'll be returning to Lyon's Den to do either a Monday or Sunday night quiz, TBD.

Muthathar al-Zaidi for Congress!

Exciting Mid-December quiz schedule

It's Elemental Week!

Tuesday, December 16, 9pm
Drinker's Tavern
Market St., between Front & 2nd Sts.
Subject Round: EARTH
This week will begin a new tournament cycle, aside from normal weekly prizes available. Not sure what the Big Prize is yet.

Wednesday, December 17, 7:30pm
12 Steps Down
9th & Christian Sts.
Subject Round: WIND

Wednesday, December 17, 9:30pm
Ray's Happy Birthday Bar
1200 E. Passyunk Ave. (near 9th & Federal Sts.)
Subject Round: FIRE

Thursday, December 18, 9:30pm
The Draught Horse
15th St. & Cecil B. Moore Ave.
Temple University campus
Subject Round: WATER

Friday, December 19, 3pm
The Union League of Philadelphia
If you don't know the address, you're clearly not invited
Subject Round: DOESN'T MUCH MATTER, EVERYONE CHEATS
Private party, screw you proles!

Could've been worded better

"Sen. Craig loses appeal in airport sex sting case"

Take a good look at this guy... I ask you, how much appeal did he have to begin with?

All the cool cats are hittin' this week's quiz

Tuesday, December 9, 9pm
Drinker's Tavern
Market St., between Front & 2nd Sts.
Subject Round: DOGS
This week will not count toward a tournament cycle, but normal weekly prizes are available. Another six-week cycle begins next week.

Wednesday, December 10, 7:30pm
12 Steps Down
9th & Christian Sts.
Subject Round: CATS

Wednesday, December 10, 9:30pm
Ray's Happy Birthday Bar
1200 E. Passyunk Ave. (near 9th & Federal Sts.)
Subject Round: RAIN & SNOW

Thursday, December 11, 9:30pm
The Draught Horse
15th St. & Cecil B. Moore Ave.
Temple University campus
Subject Round: WORLD'S LARGEST

Calling all nerds for a new week of quizzes!

Tuesday, December 2, 9pm
Drinker's Tavern
Market St., between Front & 2nd Sts.
Subject Round: MUSIC
Final week of six-week tournament cycle! The cumulative score tourney prize is a brand new iPhone!

Wednesday, December 3, 7:30pm
12 Steps Down
9th & Christian Sts.
Subject Round: LONG & SHORT

Wednesday, December 3, 9:30pm
Ray's Happy Birthday Bar
1200 E. Passyunk Ave. (near 9th & Federal Sts.)
Subject Round: TALL & SHORT

Thursday, December 4, 9:30pm
The Draught Horse
15th St. & Cecil B. Moore Ave.
Temple University campus
Subject Round: ACTORS & ACTRESSES